So I was all done with facebook and closed my account and everything. I was very bummed that I no longer see photos of my brother's son or know the daily whereabouts of my other brother. But other than that I didn't really care.
Facebook is so weird. People join and have like 300 friends and then no one says anything or posts anything. And then if someone does you almost get annoyed with them, how dare that acquaintance I don't even know anymore get pregnant and post what size fruit her fetus is! There's pressure to friend everyone who wants to friend you and then you hesitate to post anything because is it appropriate for ALL these people you barely know to read about? How many cat photos are appropriate???? So I'm virtually silent, I don't even post when I had an emergency appendectomy, and I still don't know why. I guess I was over Facebook by then.
And even then in the back of my mind I thought, well, maybe one day we'll be able to adopt and then I'll rejoin Facebook then. That just speaks mounds. It seems most if not all of my Facebook anxiety revolves around my infertility. What is possibly left when everyone is posting about their kids???? Do I seem like the biggest loser in the world when I post yet another cat photo? I think I do. I do not know how to face infertility gracefully, I wish I did. I think I'd have to have some crazy ambition in order to do that. My ambition has been and will always be to have a family. I couldn't give a rats ass about a career. And even then do I post career bullshit while other people are posting baby photos and their kid's soccer practice. It's just not the same, unless you're my brother and you are traveling and doing interesting things.
It's just so weird, facebook politics. When I encountered privacy problems linking my pinterest without my knowledge or consent I just gave up on Facebook and closed my account.
And here it is just a few months later and a long lost friend FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY asked me to friend him on facebook or join facebook. And it's like here's the person I really want to be Facebook friends with, the kind of thing facebook should be for, and I have to make a decision. Do I rejoin Facebook or not? I have to really think about this.
I want Facebook to be what I want it to be. I want to do what I want to with it. I want it to be like a blog or flickr but the difference is I feel like people find people they want to know about and read their blog or look at their flickr photos but on facebook I feel like it's a numbers game. No one wants to hear from all 300 of their fake friends. In a way I want facebook to be what I want it to be and I don't know if that's possible.
It's also rich coming from someone who actually has a blog and can write whatever she wants in it and never posts.