Saturday, January 12, 2013

Feeling Sad

I'm really doing a terrible job with this blog.  I keep thinking it will get better but mostly I kind of like being away from it.  I've been pretty active with twitter, instagram, and pinterest and I enjoy those things but to come here with something valuable to say seems off right now.  I'm sure it will pass.

Our cat Aidan has been sick forever and by forever I mean years now.  We'd bring him to the vet and they'd give us stuff pretty much saying it wouldn't really work and more and more things worked less and less until he was just sick all the time.  All the kitties in the house got sick, Grayson getting the brunt of it, and one by one they got better except Aidan who now was twice as bad as before.  I remember seeing him during our Christmas party wondering around dazed among like 30 people, cats don't really do that, and he'd circle around and look very confused.  It was so weird.

Days past after that and we talked about bringing him to the vet, it's a difficult decision and I'm still racked with guilt.  The vet told Brian they could pull all his teeth and see how that goes, thinking the root of his problem might be his teeth.  But we were past might, past spending too much money on maybes, making the poor cat suffer while we wait some more.  Trust me I feel so bad, so guilty and so awful.  Brian said after the vet he went to his office to cry for about a half hour.  Then he came home to me.  It's really just completely horrible.  But it is what it is.

It's taken me some time but I finally finished a video slideshow sort of thing about Aidan.  It's long, I tried keeping it interesting.  Aidan was a great cat and we'll really miss him.  I really miss the Aidan of a couple years ago who would cuddle with me and sleep with me and play with the other cats and toys.  It seems too long that Aidan would just rest, isolated, looking very sad.  I have issues with the god thing but I hope there's a kitty cat heaven and I hope he's with Bella.  I don't think he was ever the same after Bella died.



I hope things get back to normal soon.  But until then feel free to look me up on twitter and pinterest.