Sorry it's been so quiet over here.
We made a huge error a few days ago. We heard a kitten under the house and after various attempts covering a couple of days to see the kitten and feel out the situation Brian decided to go under the house. It's very tight and scary under there so I felt pretty bad. Then he made it all the way from the back of the house where the entry is, to the front of the house, where the kitten was and stuck the kitten through the hole in the foundation (if you recall a few years ago the tenant living here stuck her hand through the hole in the foundation and rescued Fox).
The kitten was way too small. One eye was shut from conjunctivitis. Obviously, even if I though the kitten could survive under my care, and that would be a huge question mark, with all the foster/adoption things coming up I think that would be a mistake. So five minutes later Brian is showering and hacking up god knows what in the shower and I'm crying holding a 2 week old kitten who's sucking on my hand.
Luckily after much panicking we found the mom cat and even luckier she took the kitten back. Not sure where she took the kitten, probably back to the same spot. I don't have high hopes for this kitten, but after last summer when EVERY KITTEN DIED except Grayson who we rescued, I don't ever have high hopes for kittens. We'll just have to wait a month or so and see if he shows up. That said, all four kittens from the winter group made it, even after disappearing for a couple of months, they all came back.
I've been bottling up some pain lately since finding out my brother's (the other brother) girlfriend is pregnant. I wasn't as emotional as I usually am with such news and I think I thought I had "grown." But I was bawling holding that kitten, it was a little too much. I think what hurt the most is somehow my mom trying to justify it by saying they didn't want to be like me, since she's in her young 30s and this might be her last chance. I really don't want to think that people are looking at my life and thinking, jeez, I don't want to be like her. Even if you feel that way, for pete's sake, don't tell me!
That really hurt my feelings.
I also tried explained that what happened to me is an anomaly. Most women do just fine having babies right up to 40, no need to rush, no reason to panic. Every person I know with infertility issues has been able to get pregnant and have babies. I'm the weirdo who couldn't. But it's like telling someone, sure I stayed out late and now I'm a vampire, it doesn't mean you'll be a vampire if you stay out after dark. People are too busy holding a cross up to your face to listen to what you are saying. Shut up you crazy vampire! I'll never be like you!
I'm trying to distract myself by planning a Halloween dinner party. I want to keep my budget low for this. I spent way too much on the last Oscar party and last year's Halloween Brian's costume got out of control (and didn't need to). I'm trying to be smarter about it this year. I enjoyed the French Les Miserables theme for the Oscar party and want to do more themed parties so for Halloween I'm going with the Hunger Games. As things progress I'll share more, I do have a pinterest board set up if you are curious the direction I'm going.